I Never!
by Bringyourownidol
Summary: Harry and the gang decide to play a magical version of the popular drinking game. What ensues can only be the result of secrets, lies, love, and one too many glasses of Odgen's Old Firewhisky!


Disclaimer: The characters are not mine, but the idea for a magical drinking game is.

Further Disclaimer: The author (me!) does not condone drinking nor the playing of drinking games. This was just a cute way to get the truth out of certain people and cause all kinds of trouble!

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An evening in the heart of winter found Harry Potter sitting with his friends in the Gryffindor common room playing games of exploding snap and wizard chess.

"I'm tired of exploding snap." Ginny Weasley said suddenly.

Neville Longbottom, with whom she was playing, started as though he had been on the verge of falling asleep.

"Okay, hey, how about Gobstones?"

"Naaahhh!" Ginny said.

"I'm bored too." Said Ron suddenly,

"After about fifteen minutes of staring into the fireplace you start to feel your eyes going funny."

Harry laughed while taking one of Ron's bishops with his knight,

"Okay, so let's all think of something to do."

"We could talk Quidditch strategies" Alicia Spinnet stipulated. She, Harry, Ron, and Ginny were all on the team together.

Harry heard Hermione snort from the corner of the room where she was reading. She, unlike the others, seemed to be the only one not bored.

"Not now Alicia." Ginny said, "Geez, you are becoming just like Wood."

"Did we hear someone say that they had nothing to do?" a voice called from one of the spiral staircases leading off of the boys dormitories.

Fred and George Weasley had just entered the common room, both with an identical glint of mischief in their eyes.

"Yeeesss…" Ron said suspiciously, "Why? Do you two have any ideas?"

"It just so happens, little brother, that we do." Fred said.

Ron and Ginny exchanged a meaningful look. They had both had too much experience with the twins 'good ideas' for them not to be worried.

"Well, I'm up for anything," Harry said, "If I have to watch Ron beat me at chess one more time…"

"Right! So everyone who wants to play our little game come sit over here." George said, as he cleared away a few chairs near the fireplace with his wand, making space for everyone to sit. Hermione had stopped reading and was now watching them from over the top of her book, eyes narrowed.

Ginny and Neville stopped playing exploding snap and Harry and Ron's game of wizard chess lay similarly abandoned. They formed a circle on the ground with Fred, George, and Alicia as well as Dean Thomas who had just come in from the library and decided to join in on their game.

"Alright, "George began, "Has anyone ever heard of the game 'I Never'?"

"George, is that the game muggles play where you have to take a sip every time…" Ginny asked, looking at her twin brothers curiously.

"Yes," Fred said cutting her off. "Okay so, this is how it works. This is a drinking game muggles play, but we know a magical version."

As Fred spoke George took out his wand and drew a large white circle on the ground in front of them.

"Now, all you have to do is tap your wand in the middle and you'll get a glass of Ogden's Old Firewhisky. Every time someone says "I never…did something" and you have done it, you have to drink up!"

"Simple enough," George added, "Just one thing…" If possible, the twin's grins had grown even larger, "unlike the muggle version, if you lie about something we'll know, and you might never really feel the same way about custard creams again."

"Okay, so no lying." Fred said pompously, wagging a finger at them in a very good impersonation of Percy.

One by one everyone pulled out their wands and tapped them on the floor inside the circle George had drawn. And one by one a goblet or a glass appeared in front of each of them. The results were rather amusing.

Apparently, everyone got a different glass so, while Harry had a golden goblet with a red seal, Neville ended up with a twisted pewter contraption and Ginny had something more of a teacup. The twin's glasses were the funniest, they appeared to be made out of some sort of glowing material and they would flash and blink different colors or issue smoke at odd times.

But sure enough, as Fred had said, each goblet or glass contained what looked very much like the Firewhisky served at the Three Broomsticks.

"Great! I've always wanted to try this stuff." Ron exclaimed

"Ron!" yelled a high pitched voice from the corner of the room, "I cannot believe you are going to do this. And you too, Harry!"

Hermione was glaring at both of them. Her book temporarily forgotten on the edge of her seat.

"Let's try it out shall we." George said, completely undaunted,

"Fred would you like the honors."

"Why thank you, George."

"I never…snuck out of the common room late at night."

"There, that ought to get some results!" he added.

Fred was right, one by one, impervious to Hermione's angry stare, Harry and Ron both tipped the contents of the glasses into their mouths.

They were followed by Fred, George, Ginny, and, to Dean and Alicia's surprise, Neville.

"Ugh! You Two!" Hermione started up again.

"Fine, _you _do whatever you want, but _I_ am not about to play some sort of …of…_dangerous_ bar game."she said in a dignified manner, an air of dignity that was slightly hindered by the fact that, in her anger, Hermione accidentally sat down on her book and had to jump back up again quickly.

The Firewhisky was already having an affect on their spirits. Both Harry and Ron had to look away from each other furiously to stop themselves from bursting out laughing.

"Alright, my turn, I suppose." said George.

"I never…kissed someone in the quidditch changing room."

George immediately tipped his glass back, as did Fred, Ginny, and a somewhat embarrassed Alicia.

"Ginny, your turn." Fred belched.

Dean had yet to have a drink and Ginny thought that he was probably starting to feel left out so she said,

"I never…kissed Ginny Weasley."

Dean smiled and drank from his glass and Harry, after throwing a precarious glance at the twins and Ron, followed suit.

Dean wiped his mouth with the back of his sleeve, "This stuff's really good."

"Hmpf!" said Hermione from behind the covers of her book.

"Well, I never…went skinny dipping in the lake." Alicia said

This time only she and Fred drank the contents of their glasses.

"I've never done anything." Neville muttered dispiritedly

"Right! Well, I'll drink to that!" said George, laughing.

Neville smiled as he drank up with the others.

Soon the game was involving more and more laughter in between turns.

After "I never ate a Canary Cream." (Harry's turn), Ginny was clutching her sides and giggling so hard she had to be led away for a few minutes.

"Alright, he he," Dean said laughing, "I never…had sex while at Hogwarts."

There was an instant uproar of laughter; Fred was clapping Dean on the back, shouting 'Well done, well done' loudly into his ear and then George said, "Ahh, what the hell." and drained his glass. This caused another bout of loud contagious laughter.

Neville was looking at George with admiration and he wasn't the only one.

Suddenly, both Harry and Ginny became very quiet, they were looking at each other meaningfully. Ron caught Harry's eye and at once they each downed their glass. Ginny did likewise a moment or two later.

Fred sputtered, as did George, half of the Firewhisky he'd just swallowed spurted out of his mouth and drenched Ginny and Alicia. Ron only shrugged.

"What! Who—what—when—_WHO_!" he bellowed.

But he was interrupted by a sudden noise from the corner of the room. Hermione had snapped her book shut loudly and said rather coolly, "I'm suddenly quite thirsty."

She left her book on her chair and joined the ring, sitting herself down between Alicia and Neville and deftly tapping her wand in the middle of the circle as she had seen the others do. Her eyes remained on Ron the entire time.

It was probably the shock of seeing Hermione Granger playing a drinking game that stopped Fred and George from scaring the daylights out of their sister. George straightened out his robes which had become wrinkled from Fred pulling him back.

"Alright, Hermione, why don't you go, then?"

"Fine." She said resolutely.

"I n-never…" she paused, thinking, "_I _never went out with another person just to make someone else jealous."

She looked over at Ron, leaving her glass, a sensible mug, sitting on the ground in front of her.

"Fine." Ron said, drinking. "But, I've already told you--"

Hermione didn't even listen.

Ginny drank up too, to Dean's dismay, and Harry's silent relief.

Now it was Ginny's turn,

"Well I never snuck a girl into my bedroom." She said triumphantly.

Both Fred and George grinned and drank and the atmosphere returned to its pleasant convivial self.

"Our sister, she's got our number all right."

Hermione had yet to drink.

Fred said, "Ron, get our friend 'Mione to have a sip won't you."

Ron's ears were red, Harry was sure he was remembering what Hermione had said before.

"Alright."

"I've never hit Draco Malfoy!"

Hermione's cheeks blushed crimson but she lifted her glass and drank its contents, hesitating only once, and her eyes narrowed over the rim of her cup at Ron.

Harry supposed that no one was lucid enough to sense the tension between Ron and Hermione. As she drank Fred and George were clapping and Dean was looking at Hermione in a whole new light,

"Really? Hermione, we'd never have thought you had it in you!"

"Did it feel wonderful?" Alicia asked dreamily.

"Hermione, you are s-so brave." Neville stammered.

Hermione finished drinking, and her glass refilled. She no longer looked embarrassed, but, rather, triumphant. She was beaming at everyone.

Harry noticed that everyone had a faint glow about them from the Firewhisky and everyone was smiling widely. Only, Neville looked slightly downtrodden. His head was resting in this hands and he was staring at the surface of his Firewhisky, which Harry suspected he was checking for dust. Neville had only drunk once or twice thus far.

Harry said, "Okay. I've got a good one; I never _wanted_ to hit Draco Malfoy."

Everyone drank to that one, even Hermione, who it seemed, was starting to enjoy the game, under the influence of the Firewhisky. Neville, at any rate, looked much happier indeed.

After a few more "I Never's" it was Ron's turn again.

This time he spoke right away, as though he had been planning his the entire time. Which, Harry reminded himself, he probably had.

"I never slept with a thick, ugly, grumpy Bulgarian seeker." he said triumphantly.

Hermione was no longer smiling. She looked on the verge of tears.

"Well, you've got me there!" Fred said, batting his eyelashes and pretending to drink deeply from his glass.

"You are horrible! Do you know that Ron Weasley!" Hermione yelled.

Ginny, Alicia, Neville, and Dean stopped laughing at Fred.

Then, Hermione got up and turned on her heel so quickly that she overturned her glass and Firewhisky spilled over the floor.

"Hey, that's a perfectly good waste of horrible Firewhisky." George said.

"No, it's a horrible waste of perfectly good Firewhisky." Fred corrected, sounding more Percy-ish than ever.

The group's laughter followed Hermione up the stairs into the girls' common room.

Ron put down his glass after "I never saw a houself naked." (Dean's turn) and followed Hermione.

He made it halfway up the girl's staircase before it reverted into a slide once again. "Argggg!" He cried as he slid back down to the common room head first.

"Oy! Hermione! Come down, I really need to talk to you!"

"No! Ron, I can't even look at you right now!" a voice issue from the top of the stairs, which had reverted back to their old selves.

"Fine, then I will just have to come up to you then." Ron said angrily.

"Good luck, mate." Harry toasted Ron as he drank to "I've never snuck out of school." (George's turn)

"Alright, then…" Ron muttered, "If she's going to be stubborn…" he stopped suddenly, his eyes alight with an idea. He pulled his wand out of his robes carefully.

He knew exactly what he was going to do. The Firewhisky's affect seemed to evaporate and his mind was incredibly lucid.

"Wingardium Leviosa." He said and he swished and flicked his wand and tapped it against his own chest. In an instant he was flying.

He managed to direct himself towards the top of the stairs of the girl's dormitory after only one slight mishap in which he almost kicked Alicia in the head.

Ron arrived slightly shaken at the top landing of the girl's dormitory and he heard the group downstairs return to their game.

Now that he had arrived he wasn't really sure what to do next.

Apparently there weren't any other enchantments on the dormitory.

He walked through the door uncertainly, into the dark.

"Hermione…" he whispered, "Are you there?"

There was a figure sitting on a bed nearby.

"Ron! How did you get up here? Boys aren't allowed!"

"I flew." Ron said straight faced.

"You shouldn't have—I mean… you'll get in trouble."

"Well," Ron sighed, "You left me no choice. I need to talk to you."

"I don't want to talk to you! You slept with Lavender! I cannot believe you. I mean I knew that you…but I didn't think you would…oh, Ron, that's just awful!"

"Hermione, relax for a second, I have to know the truth. Did you…I mean…with Krum."

Ron mumbled something indistinct about the Yule Ball and then looked worriedly at Hermione.

To his surprise, Hermione laughed,

"Do you really think I would have…?"

She trailed off, leaving the question hanging between them.

"Ron, it's you. It's been you all along." she whispered.

One lone tear ran down her cheek and Ron lifted his hand to wipe it away, he trailed his thumb across her cheek but she brushed his hand away impatiently.

"But, I don't know if I could ever…not now…I mean…you and Lavender. Ron, why did you do it?"

Ron looked straight into her eyes, "I didn't." he said simply.

"I lied."

"But…the game. Fred said that..."

"I know." Ron said,

"I didn't really tap my wand. I conjured the glass when no one was looking and have been filling it up myself with a refilling charm."

"Ron, that's really complex magic."

"I know. But I had to know the truth."

Ron smiled and took Hermione's hand as he sat down next to her on the bed.

"Well," he said as he glanced suggestively at the bed, "We both know now. We could…I mean… they aren't paying any attention—no one would know if…"

As if to validate this point a renewed chorus of laughter issued from the common room.

"Ron, are you suggest--" he cut her off with a kiss.

"Well, I Never!"

"Exactly!" Ron said, stealing another kiss and grinning mischievously.

It was one of those rare occasions when Hermione actually grinned back.

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The idea for this story just came to me quite suddenly one night. It is my one and only ever oneshot and I had a lot of fun writing it. Please review and let me know what you thought!Thanks!xxx-Bexie1217 


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